


The Greatest Irony

by genello



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/575801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genello/pseuds/genello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"From any other vantage point, John was a classic example of the blushing virgin, and Dave was so comfortable with his sexuality that he forgot there were others who weren't.  They both quickly learned this was bullshit."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Greatest Irony

**Author's Note:**

> I might come back and edit it some more later, but I'm happy with it for right now. I just wanted to write something short and sweet.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Edit: I came back and played with the ending a bit. I like it better now--I hope you guys do, too!

 John tended to be an asshole. That was a given fact. He generally meant well, but tact was not a thing he possessed.

Except, perhaps, when it came to sex. But that might not even have been described as “tact” as much as “a thing he just didn't talk about.” He would blush whenever Rose tricked him into reading her wizard tentacle porn. His mouth would clamp shut whenever one of the trolls asked him about a human's bits down _there_. He would avert his eyes if he passed a romantic boutique. Even when a sex scene was playing on a movie, he would fiddle with his phone as opposed to watching.

Dave liked to talk about sex. On the subway, at work, at school, at home—anywhere he could get away with it. And sometimes, even at places he really shouldn't, such as family restaurants or right outside a church. He would discuss the finer points with Rose and the cruder points with Bro. He'd make innuendos and tasteless jokes to the trolls even though none of them understood the punchlines. He drew dicks in his notebooks and on his friends' arms.

Only John knew that all of it was bullshit.

Alone in their apartment, John was the one to take the initiative. He would come up behind Dave with neckline kisses and curious fingertips. He would reach an arm around Dave's shoulders on the couch and gently coax him closer and closer until their clothes got the better of them. He would lead Dave to bed with amorous activities in mind, always shutting the door and closing the blinds. He would welcome Dave home from a long day with a kiss on the lips and a prick against the hip.

They had dated a good while before living together, but somehow, it had never clicked in Dave's head just how different they treated the idea of sex. It wasn't until they shared a space and had numerous romantic opportunities that Dave truly noticed.

From any other vantage point, John was a classic example of the blushing virgin, and Dave was so comfortable with his sexuality that he forgot there were others who weren't.

They both quickly learned this was bullshit.

As soon as the mood shifted from light and humorous to hot 'n' heavy, Dave would simply stop. His endless rambling and mumbling would halt. His breath would cease. His ears strained red as the tension strung up his body as tight as his raps. Anticipation would rise into his throat. His body would go still while trying to catch up with the fact that those things he joked about? Yeah, they weren't purely joke material, after all.

John often caught him off-guard with his fervor. Even when starting rough, John would slow down halfway through to give Dave a chance to catch up. And Dave always would catch up. Their appetite for each other was never in question. Dave's nerves just needed a jumpstart.

Fading from the afterglow, there was a day when Dave asked flatly, “I don't get it—how're you such a lady on the street and a freak between the sheets?”

John chuckled, cuddling close and replying, "You really wanna compare how we cover up insecurities?"

Dave punched him on the shoulder.

“Fine, fine—it's just a matter of privacy for me, alright? Jeez, it's not that weird—”

Dave kissed him.

John was an asshole. There was no denying that. But even assholes could be thoughtful. And these contradictions were so steeped in their souls, Dave was driven to love John even more. Because with every anomaly and all of the sincerity, he had to admit, their love really was the greatest irony.


End file.
